Rebels and Gold Diggers
As we grow up, we develop an identity. Something singular, to define our place in life. Something to provide us with a sense of self. But sometimes, to be unique, you must develop a unique perspective. It means to be a rebel.
Often, I find myself, on the opposite side of the conventional standpoint. Other times, I swim against the current. But something I always do is to stand for the truth. Even if it means taking the side of the most unpopular and unpleasant types. That is what I shall be talking about, in fact.
When I witness injustice unfolding, I have to say something. Otherwise, it consumes me from within. And right now I see a great lie. A lie in which we constantly engage in. Especially us, men.
I have a confession to make. I’ve visited the weird part of the internet again. But this time, I wanted nothing more than to amuse myself. Little did I know, I would get much more than what I bargained for. I saw something unjust, and now I need to set the table straight.
There was this hidden camera prank. The scene unfolded in this way: A driver would pull over his car on the side of the street, and engage with the most stunning and attractive women. He tried to set up a coffee date. Needless to say, he was rejected. After a few minutes, the same women were approached by the second prankster in a similar way. With one major difference: this other guy had a Ferrari. And surprise surprise, what do you think happened? Not only did the ladies agree to go out, but they insisted on going in (for a ride). And this is where the fun starts…
As they try to get in the Ferrari, the driver stops them suddenly: “Very quick, I have to give you something first.” … He hastily runs back to the trunk, opens it up, and pulls out a gold-polished shovel. He confidently hands it over to the hot, stunning girl “This is for you!”. She seems baffled “What? What is this?” To which he replies: “This is for you because you’re a gold digger! And this golden shovel is what every gold digger needs.” The girl’s reactions are priceless. They range from shame to guilt, to anger.
Now, granted, this does not expose the prettiest qualities of women. And the YouTube comments were fumigating with hate and dismay. From the juvenile laments of beta males to the nasty, chauvinistic curse words. And the occasional "Send them to Saudi Arabia!".
This stream of negativity really angered me. Not because I am a hopeless romantic, but because of the one-sidedness of it all. People accusing these poor gold diggers of being superficial, without seeing their our shallowness. Didn't Saint Matthew say: "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?"
As a man, and I believe I speak for all men, when I turn my gaze to behold a beautiful woman on the street, I don't do it for her inner beauty. We look at attractive women and appreciate them first and foremost for their physical traits. So why should we complain when they do the same to us guys?
Secondly, the pranksters only picked on the most attractive women they could find, to prove how superficial these women were. However, the way they chose their targets exposed their own shallowness. Why only the hot ones?
This article is my clumsy attempt to address that injustice. I do this not for myself, but for the unheard and unfairly treated gold diggers. I will explain: Why they are right in what they do? What motivates their behavior? I will resort to anthropology and evolutionary biology to support my claims.
You will understand why gold diggers are not shallow after all. You shall see what drives their instinctual motivations and emotions.
A wise friend of mine once said: "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". There is a book with that title, by the way. Well, my friend was right, there are major differences between men and women. From anthropological studies, we know that all the physical and psychological differences between men and women come from one cause: Our reproductive patterns.
As mammals, men and women have separate reproductive roles. This relates to sex differences and explains attraction and gold-digging behavior.
Let's go back millions of years into our evolutionary past. Back when we came down from the trees when we weren't even human. Male and females reproduce in different ways. Even in this early period, a female could have about one offspring per decade. She was constrained by the vulnerability and length of pregnancy and caring for the child until he grew up.
A male could produce one offspring every 10 minutes if given enough partners. Males were hunters and guardians of the tribe, while the females raised the children and nurtured them. That is why men were more available for reproduction.
This asymmetry in reproductive capacity, between males and females, leads to one thing: High supply on the male side and low demand on the female side. Since among males, there is large supply, that leads to competitions: "Who should reproduce? Who is better?". That is why men are bigger and stronger than women.
That imbalance leads to different reproductive strategies as well. What is the most effective way for the strongest male to reproduce? Obviously, genetic programming has a vote. How about having as many offspring as possible. With as many female partners as possible. Starting from the youngest and most attractive. Since they have the highest reproductive potential.
What about females? What is the best possible strategy for them? How about picking the most attractive male? That wouldn't be effective, would it? The prehistoric humans were extremely vulnerable, in a hostile environment. A pregnant female, without help, support and resources could easily die along with her unborn child. So, the prettiest male is not the best choice. The best reproductive tactic would be to choose the most influential partner. The one with the highest circle of influence. The one who gets the biggest piece of the pie. And the one who is strong enough to secure his share, her share, and their child's share.
That is why women are instinctively attracted to strong men, leaders, adventurers, and bad boys. They trigger the same genetic programs that the prehistoric alpha caveman did. And I already explained why men are naturally attracted to young beautiful women.
But the physical attractiveness of women is easy to spot. That is why men are visual. On the flip side, male status, strength, and confidence are less obvious. Women have to rely on signals and symbols of social status to know if a man is alpha enough. Having an expensive suit, a Ferrari, a deep voice, public displays of confidence ... There are tell-tale signs of being alpha. They are just as much of a turn on for women, and physical attractiveness is for men.
So, when gold-diggers do what they do, remember: they are not in charge of their choices. They simply act out the reproductive patterns that have been instantiated in their psyches over the course of millions of years. Men do the same thing when they feel attracted to beautiful women.
Our reproductive strategies have become part of who we are. They are now part of our neurology. That is why men and women consistently follow their own patterns. We are what evolution made us be.
Here is the cold truth. Nothing about sexual attraction is altruistic in nature. Quite the opposite, everything is materialistic. Men choose women for their youth and beauty. Women choose men for their status, strength, and influence. If you don't want to accept that, then you are denying your own nature. Deep down, men are women are the same: evolutionary determined shallowness, for the sake of reproduction.
So, don't blame the poor old gold-digger. In a way, she is innocent! We all are. Because we are puppets to our own nature.
I want to end this defensive article with a quote from one of the leading philosophical thinker of our times, Woody Allen: “Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.”
The amazing front cover artwork: Egyptian Wallpaper.